


don't it always seem to go

by pratintraining



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Anger, Gen, Past Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29729055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pratintraining/pseuds/pratintraining
Summary: geralt's still angry at yennefer after fighting with her on the mountain, but as the day goes on, he starts to realize there's something missing. geralt always complained about jaskier's annoying existence, but now that he's gone, it's weird. hmm.
Kudos: 2





	don't it always seem to go

**Author's Note:**

> so i was creeping my own writing tag on tumblr (cuz i really dont write often) and was surprised to find a 1k witcher ramble that i absolutely dont remember writing haha. i dont usually like posting things in lowercase but it bothered me that a technically finished fandom story with actual sentences (as opposed to long point-form fics) isnt on my ao3 profile and im too lazy to go through it again to capitalize everything, so im just posting it as-is. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> this is what i had to say in my tags:  
> #i was tryna figure out how geralt would come to realize he fucked up with jaskier when his thoughts are clearly very occupied with yennefer #and i got this #yknow that creeping feeling you get when u realize u took something for granted and now regret that u did cuz it's gone? #that's what i was going for lol
> 
> oh, the title is from "big yellow taxi" by vanessa carlton and counting crows specifically for that one line (don't it always seem to go / that you dont know what you got till it's gone) and it's otherwise unrelated, but if you want to imagine geralt and jaskier and yenn having a similar dramatic fight at the _bottom_ of the mountain in modern times, with yenn storming off in a big yellow taxi and jaskier going off to sing and cry and play guitar at the local cafe's next open mic while geralt the farmer broods with his favourite horse roach, im not gonna stop u

when geralt sends jaskier away on the mountain, he’s still fired up about yen–all he could think about was how angry and hurt he was that she would just leave him on the mountain like that, and he doesnt spare a single thought for jaskier aside from a fast “good, the stupid bard left before me, i cant stand chatter right now” when he sees the empty camp

he burns about yen all the way down the mountain, and tries to ignore how torn apart he feels at her leaving, because they’d had a moment, dammit! he’d been vulnerable for her where he’s never been before and she drives him crazy and he can’t stand that she just left

it’s not until he sets up camp that night that he notices the lack of jaskier for the first time: he’s removing his gear from roach and brushing her down, and when he turns around to face the clearing, he wonders why there isn’t a fire already going until, oh yeah, he yelled at jaskier today and jaskier left before him

“good riddance,” he thinks, rolling his eyes as he starts to pick up firewood, and his thoughts turn once more to yennefer

in the morning, geralt wakes up and broods a little more about yennefer, and then keeps brooding as he starts to get roach ready to travel again, and then he gets on the road and broods until he’s hungry, and he frowns because it feels like he’s been brooding a long time? he hasnt been in a bad mood for this long in a while, but it’s strange because surely he’s capable of staying broody for a very long time and yet his face feels out of practice at frowning for this long

the lack of response to his continued frown has him instinctively looking down at the road where jaskier would be walking beside him and realizes that usually jaskier would have said something stupid enough to knock him out of his brooding by now

well, whatever, now that he’s realized he’s been brooding for too long, he’ll just stop doing it because he doesn’t need jaskier

he enters a village, stopping to check the notice board and seeing there’s a contract he can take care of tomorrow, and he makes his way to the tavern; he sits down and remembers how beautiful yen looked when she walked in with that stupid knight and his thoughts sour again, remembering how she left him

he tries to steer his thoughts away from yennefer once more and his eyes land on someone that is taking the bread on their plate and putting it in their pockets for god knows what reason, and he turns to jaskier to tease him because he would surely know the reason–he’s had bread in his pants before and gods that was the first stupid thing jaskier ever said to him, wasnt it–and then he remembers that, oh yeah, geralt yelled at jaskier and then jaskier left the mountain ahead of geralt, and that’s why jaskier isn’t here

hmm

whatever, he doesn’t need jaskier and he definitely doesn’t need yennefer, and now he’s mad at her again and gods damn it

he finishes his food and heads to the inn across fron the tavern where he pays for a room, and when he gets to the room, it’s small–doesnt even have a table–and he’s already mentally preparing himself for the irritated muttering that he’ll have to shut out when jaskier comes in and inevitably complains about the lack of space to sit down and compose and lay out all his papers before he remembers, oh right, yesterday he yelled at jaskier on the mountain and then jaskier left before they could leave together and this was after arguing with yennefer and ugh

geralt sits on the bed, emotionally exhausted, and he’s tired of being angry about yen and that’s it, he’s done with that, and he gazes to jaskier’s side of the bed and idly predicts where exactly jaskier’s gonna keep his lute because he’s precious about it and he actually walks around their room or their campsite before they settle for the night to find the least damp place to put it but geralt cant fault him because he’s the same with his potions and then he remembers again that, right, he yelled at jaskier on the mountain and jaskier’s not gonna be here to stash his lute anywhere that’s not damp

he sits there and realizes that he really is done with his anger toward yen, the burning is gone and he’s left with a drained feeling and the emptiness of jaskier’s side of the bed, because of course they both have sides on the bed, theyre always together

except now theyre not, because geralt yelled at him on the mountain and wished he would be out of his life, and jaskier listened and left

without burning anger filling him up, he realizes that there is a hole he didnt notice when he left the mountain, and shit, jaskier’s not here and it’s eerily silent in this room and in his head

geralt rests for the night but finds it strange and somewhat discomfiting to not fall asleep to the lullaby of jaskier’s heartbeat, the rhythmic exhale of his breath

in the morning, geralt wakes up without jaskier in the bed beside him and no lute case anywhere in the room and he feels destabilized

he thinks of the mountain and his mind brushes on his argument with yen and feels tired about it, and then he remembers yelling at jaskier, the way geralt felt his face contort in anger, and he thinks of the look on jaskier’s face right before geralt turned around, and he suddenly remembers jaskier’s hesitant tone when he said he’d get the story from someone else and he can almost imagine the look on his face, and fuck, has jaskier ever sounded hesitant in his life? did geralt make him hesitant?

he goes down to grab some breakfast before pursuing the contract he saw on the notice board, and when the plate comes, it’s got jaskier’s favourite fruit on it and he quirks his eyebrow and starts to turn toward the bard on reflex, ready for the small warmth that comes with seeing jaskier delighted, and then remembers jaskier’s not here because geralt yelled at him, and fuck

fuck

he can’t deny it to himself anymore, he’s definitely missing jaskier by his side and it’s only the second day

shit, it’s like the world is weirdly quiet without jaskier’s chatter, his mind irritatingly silent where before there had been a space full of words and melodic laughter and teasing grins and he didn’t even realize he made space for jaskier in his life because he didnt want to admit it to himself that they were friends

were they best friends? is this how friendship makes you feel? has jaskier been right this entire time?

he thinks he would ask jaskier about it and then feels guilty because he doesnt have jaskier, he yelled at him on a mountain top, and then geralt thinks that those thoughts are probably telling enough

fuck, he misses his bard… dare he admit it to himself? he misses his… friend

now what?


End file.
